But why is no one wanting to build a wall around a dementor wasp?
We launched CBBToday a year ago this month. At the time, we released several columns, a few features, and even had an overly wordy introductory post. In the latter, this handsome Internet Scribbler promised to provide relevant site updates whenever pertinent happenings popped up.
Having done zero of that, I failed. A Column of Enchantment, at least this blog post, will fix some of that by not actually fixing much of it at all.
Not that anyone reading this should be aware of my personal brand (I have none), or my resume prior to you following along this jumbled words that barely form sentences, A Column of Enchantment used to be a weekly “piece” I wrote for Rush The Court when attempting to leave the industry. A fellow handsome Internet Scribbler named Randy convinced me to keep going, resulting in the creation of a disaster. We did it together. Randy is as much to blame for my previous word vomits on if you guys are sentient.
The pitch? Write about whatever. It was a barely about college basketball college basketball column. In hindsight, it was awful. We’re going to do a Column Of Enchantment again; though there will be slight modifications. It will still be awful. It’ll be the least good written thing(s) I’ll ever put on this web blog. Maybe we’ll even make up words as we go.
Will this be a masturbatory practice in self-indulgence? You bet! Will it be weekly like it was so many moons ago when published on the worldwide web’s top independent college basketball blog? Nope. These will pop up pretty much at random. Technically, this might be the last one if met with lukewarm reception or I get too busy building my brand on Twitter.
Masturbatory, you see? Just like when long form features were in vogue, with an underfunded writer attempting to string together 10,000-plus words of nonsense for the sake of a network fitting in with the times. Mind you, without editing any of it to the point it created a hard reset on the longer form feature industry, allowing earnestly talented writers to thrive and those other hacks to become… ugh… managing editors of major outlets.
Anyway, these Column Of Enchantment things have no form or style or structure. Expect zero transition from one subject to another. Merely because Paper Rater yells at you about “transition words being the lifeblood of any wickedly talented writer” or whatever the hell it screams at you while saying you wrote a fourth-grade level paper, it should be known that transitions should be unnatural. Nothing in life flows. Rare is the member of the human species waking up to the sound of their alarm clock, then being able to smooch their significant other without either being repulsed by the other’s morning stench.
There will be basketball. Sometimes. I think? Literal stream of conscience writing for better or worse… and it’s 100 percent going to be for the worst. No need to worry about those semantics, however. Semantics are for losers.
Oh. Before I forget. Full-disclosure: This is being put in after the stream of conscience writing. I’d apologize if there would be any ounce of sincerity behind it. I’m a liar without honor. Nonetheless, subscribe to our newsletter or drink lukewarm milk. Look below these words. It’s right there. Click it. CLICK IT!
The United States of America is having a rough go of it lately. Pushing aside politics for a moment, it needs to be noted that 99 percent of what people are angry about has nothing to do with politics.
Black people being killed by the police? That’s not politics.
People of color attempting to live legally in America, or otherwise, being hurled in camps happens to be inhumane no matter how you feel about whatever immigration policy. Being “pro treating people decent” isn’t a political viewpoint. It should just be being human.
Flint still has no clean water; we have mass shootings happening far too often, with bad faith argument takers going on television to explain away the obvious issue with nonsensical bologna meant to scare your Great Aunt Fiona; bigots feel empowered to be outwardly racist and violent because major news outlets have spent years humanizing them by way of fluffy features; and there’s several people in key positions of authority who do more to incite acts of hate than to condemn them. None of which is politics, but facts.
Calling a person a liar, racist or a whatever, when s/he is being a liar, racist or whatever, isn’t some concept we should shy away from. It’s how we acknowledge what America has always been, then hopefully grow beyond that. There’s no making America great again if our home was never all that great to begin with. For every decade someone points to as it being better than now, there’s entire groupings of people who were abused, mistreated and murdered during the same time period.
Much like LITERALLY RIGHT NOW.
Wanting another person to be OK, even god damn slap-happy fantastic, is what this should be about. God or not. Political viewpoints whatever. When you look at another person, if wishing ill-will on him or her, you can go kick rocks. Hell, I hope the rocks kick you back.
It’ll forever be lost on me, at least the adult version of me, why we not only lack so much empathy, but are so devoid of it that there’s some actively out here trying to create a greater divide between all of us. I’ve become a believer that belief systems — especially those that rely on the blind variety — are the most dangerous things we have as a society. When some entitled white dude who is lonely gets all incel’ed up, writes a manifesto, then goes out and kills our children, and our response is some laissez faire bullshit… just, I mean, for fuck’s sake what are we even doing here?
As a member of the most entitled group in all of America, it’s mostly my time to keep my mouth shut and listen. And I have. It’s come at great cost to… absolutely nothing. By taking time out of my day to read, listen to and/or watch whatever someone in a tougher spot has to say about their current point of view, it has cost me zero things.
No money. My family is fine. My health is still as solid as it was before. So on and so forth.
Instead, it has allowed me to see situations through a lens I’d otherwise never get to view them through. While it would be nice to say how enlightened I’ve forever been, that would be a crock of fecal matter. Growing up without having to go through any of the numerous daily trappings that comes with being “not white” in America, it would be swell to say how much empathy has forever been blossoming in my belly for my fellow Americans. It wasn’t until I was smart enough to realize I was too idiotic to actually know anything that I closed my mouth hole, perked my ears, and had an honest discourse with myself and how everyone else views everything.
Aside: Since I did it with my Liberty piece a few months back, I will note that my views on whatever here don’t reflect all of those at CBBToday’s. Still, it’s my web blog, so I’m posting it. Also, using the word “I” a lot as if this is a diary entry.
College basketball is only a few months away.
If being honest, not a huge fan of whatever this supposed three-year Netflix algorithm thing is. Apparently, the fine folks at Netflix know that three years is about all it needs from the majority of its original programming. A huge fan of Stargate Universe creator Brad Wright’s Travelers like me? Tough luck, boss. It’s been canned. A bunch of numbers inside the system is aware you or I won’t drop Netflix just because of that.
Why? Because as sad as we are to see that show go, Stranger Things or GLOW or whatever is coming down the pipe. And when those shows run whatever course Netflix deems fit, while we’re all whining over the cliffhanger left unanswered by the cancellation of Patrick Gilmore’s 3 Steps To Sainthood While Wearing PUMA Gear, the company will unleash a bunch of other shows we’ll want to see.
As a general heads up, Patrick Gilmore’s 3 Steps To Sainthood While Wearing PUMA Gear is not a real show (yet).
Nevertheless, this isn’t about capping creativity or keeping anyone in check in terms relative to how we consume products. It’s just business as usual, but instead of it being in the traditional cable/satellite form, this is a Streaming Edition of Who Eats What Shit And When.
To summarize what appears to be a far more complex situation than what I’m about to make it: Three years is (roughly) when show creators/runners are due more loot in return for their carefully crafted product. Netflix, from a business standpoint, sees no value in paying Whoever Creative Person-Y more cash because it can simply hurl lower sums of money at another creative to build a new, even if too similar show.
Rinse. Repeat. Recycle. Reboot The 4400.
Hey. That Evan Mobley kid who committed to the USC Trojans appears to be gnarly at the shooty hoops. ESPN claims he’s the No. 1 prospect on the planet Earth, and the FBI scandal means as much to how kids view college basketball programs as to how the Devils views a heatwave in August.
August sucks. It isn’t up for debate. The best seasons are, in order: Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter.
Summer would probably be ranked higher if it weren’t for it’s cellar-dwelling, musty-assed colleague August. I think I just creatively stole a Drew Magary bit? I read him a lot. If so, it wasn’t intentional. If not, I do really hate August, but my best guess is part of this was inspired by someone else’s hatred of it.
We rambled enough. It’s our first edition of whatever this is. Maybe our last. Who knows? Not you! Not me? Well, I do, but whatever. Maybe next time I’ll crowd source social media for AMA material so you guys can do half the work for me.
Until next time,
It’s a Column Of Enchantment, which is college basketball… kind of.
Joseph Nardone has covered college basketball for nearly a decade at various outlets. He is responsible for the debacle this is Column Of Enchantment. You can follow him on Twitter @JosephNardone.
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