Do you ever wonder if Stephen King wakes up in the morning, realizes he’s Stephen King for another day, then becomes increasingly satisfied with the fact he’s Stephen King?
This realization has to be surreal. To awaken from your slumber each new morning, then quickly coming to the conclusion you’re the GOAT of horror stories and someone so beloved his work is adapted time after time after time.
It does make me curious about semi-famous people, though. How people with a herd of followers on Twitter feel each morning. Not like actually famous people. Closer to the humanoid people casually read because we like their NBA listicle work or someone who is extremely great on the mean streets of social media, but is awful at creating content outside the 240 characters.
Do they wake up each morning declaring, “It’s me! The person who is about to drop the best poll in the history of worldwide interwebs!” or whatever?
What would any team in the country look like if we put Anthony Lamb on their roster? Imagine 16.s points and 7.3 rebounds per game suiting up for Duke or Washington or Kentucky or the Club State Pool Cleaners. Imagine it!
why don't you have HBO? why havent you watched succession or righteous gemstones? you pretend to be this grandiose consumer of content but you're missing out on the best content.
— Jared (@JMintzHoops) November 20, 2019
Allowing you members of the species in on a little industry secret: Writing about sportsball doesn’t pay solid money. In fact, it pays such little money your hero is not a full-time sportsball writer. Instead, this handsome Internet Scribbler (patent still pending) is a full-time copy-editor type who gets paid ho-hum sums of cash for his ramblings.
In turn, HBO is currently something outside my financial purview. It was in it when Game of Thrones was still running roughshod on Sunday nights; though that now feels like a billion years ago.
Until this tweet (and a DM) happened, I was unaware of this television show called Succession. Many industry people seem to enjoy it, which means I’ll hate it simply by virtue of being a contrarian who loathes all things that might define me as a person.
You can’t define me, Jared. You can try all you want, but you can’t. Also, record a podcast, you coward!
If you’re still here, a Column of Enchantment is all cannon. It was dead. Like this website. We might be back… soon? This is clearly a semi-rehashed column as we kick the tires on life. Honestly, let us know in an email or the comments or on Twitter if you’d like us back.
Why ya momma a ho?
— sʇɹoɥS uoʇʞɔoʇS (@StocktonShorts) November 20, 2019
Deep rooted issues stemming from… Wait a second.
Were you even aware Jim Boeheim had a different son that’s not on the Syracuse Orange? Jimmy Boeheim scored a game-high 25 points against the Orange earlier in the season for the famed Cornell Big Red. Buddy Boeheim scored 16 for his father.
Boeheim Rhapsody or something.
“I don’t really like coaching against my son,” said Jim Boeheim, who’s now 3-0 against Jimmy. “We do it once a year and we have to get through it. He played really well and I’m sure his mother is happy.
Well, so long as his mother is happy.
Love your son, Grumpy Uncle Jim. Love him until your heart stops pulsing and there’s no more air for your lungs to steal from the Earth. Please refrain from waiting until it’s too late.
— Rush the Court (@rushthecourt) November 20, 2019
It’s a great question. Moreover, when someone asks the question why, the insides of my cranium immediately turn to the thoughts of death. More accurately, what happens when we die?
There’s a general sense of envy forever floating in my belly over people who blindly believe the god of their understanding will hurl them up on a cloud, allowing them to replay Final Fantasy VII until they want to do something else (probably boink).
A true sense of jealousy, honestly. I sincerely wish I had that level of faith.
I do have some. My god just isn’t as swell as yours (at least probably). He believes going to church doesn’t make you any better a person than going to Burger King makes you a hamburger. He also thinks Christina Ricci is a creature we don’t deserve walking among us humans. God is dope like that.
Science has come an insanely long way. I’m hoping we’ll get to the point it’ll let us know what truly happens to us when we kick the bucket… maybe? I’m not too sure. That might be as terrifying as not knowing. What if we were told — through scientific facts via research — there’s literally nothing else?
When we die there’s not even a hint of darkness because this is it. Our human flesh is all we have and our interactions, during our minimal time on this here planet, is all we receive from the Big Bang.
Basically, I don’t want to die. If it happens, here’s to hoping someone is looking out for my casual rear.
Watch Castle Rock on Hulu. This isn’t a sponsored-post or anything. It’s just a splendid television show set in a universe inspired by the guy who gets to wake up every single morning as Stephen King.
College basketball… kinda.
Joseph Nardone has covered college basketball for nearly a decade at various outlets. He is responsible for the debacle that is Column Of Enchantment. You can follow him on Twitter @JosephNardone.
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