Watching Murray State Racers guard Ja Morant play college basketball is like injecting adrenaline in your veins with a needle made of sugar. Then, only because, washing it down by snorting pounds of uncut cocaine so pure it would make Pablo Escobar blush.
It’s 2,019 years after something important happened to the world’s most famous carpenter, however. Consuming Morant in his purest form is unacceptable. People enjoy spiting themselves. Entertainment be damned, apparently, as the waters are muddied thanks to conversations forcing a shift in expectations.
Expectations are a fickle thing. For college basketball, it’s the sport’s nefarious mistress. It, sometimes, creates a world view unneeded at the time.
Having mentioned cocaine earlier, let’s go off the rails for a second.
Horror movies are meant to give you a few cheap scares. No one goes into something made by Eli Roth hoping to see the next cinematic masterpiece. If for some ungodly reason they were, only disappointment is waiting. Since people know what to expect from the maker of Cabin Fever (2002) and Cabin Fever (2016), unless trotting about the planet as a wholly unrealistic person, someone can leave the experience happy-ish.
However, imagine if someone went in looking for something beyond a hapless horror flick. Rather than enjoying Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World taking advantage of a decomposing corpse, people would be asking about what’s next for Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World. Does he have a strong motor? What’s his real wingspan? Is he actually athletic? Maybe nifty? Probably has grit. How about that first step, Shawn Hunter?
And, ugh, for real — the hell with that scene of Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World doing that thing (that thing!) to his longtime crush?!
Time to do a healthy pivot.
Outside of people directly linked to a program for whatever reason — alum, location, etc. — everyone else who watches the unpaid laborers are doing so without concern for the right now. Not how many wins the Murray State Racers have. Not how the burden put on Morant in terms of usage might have him burnt out come March. None of it.
It’s already about what’s next. How is Morant in terms of the NBA Draft? Can he rise up to an eater-of-worlds pedestal, overtaking hyped prospects like RJ Barrett and Cam Reddish to be selected earlier in the 2019 NBA Draft?
Boo. Boo, those people. And boo Shawn Hunter. Topanga hated you.
Obviously, we’re excluding those who have a literal job forcing them to discuss and/or view Morant solely through the NBA Draft lens. Everyone else, we’re hustling backwards. We’re doing ourselves a great disservice.
As the totally not fraudulent and solid businessman Ja Rule tweeted, “I too was hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hood winked, lead astray!!!”
Let’s make this Camp Crystal Lake clear: Don’t allow the insane dissection that comes with a player being discussed in terms relative to the NBA Draft distract you from the fact
Tom Hanks isn’t as good of an actor as Christian Slater Ja Morant is one of the two most entertaining players in the nation to watch. Duke Blue Devils star, Zion Williamson, clearly being the other.
Imagine a world where you’re viewing all things you love through a microscopic, purposely negative lens.
You enjoy Coca Cola Classic? Too bad! Here’s some scientist-ish people telling you it’s the grossest thing ever.
Go running a few miles each day to prepare for a marathon? Awesome. Your hard work and dedication to stay in superb health will, depending which random you ask, probably hurt you.
Remember Teddy Ruxpin? Not the talking doll. The animated TV show? It was so awesome with our friendly bear and some worm who made gross soup or whatever. It was great. And yet, don’t be a guy in his 30s who craved the nostalgia so much he bought the entire first season on DVD only to find out it aged like lukewarm milk left out in the sun during August.
For real. I should have just let Teddy prosper in my memories. What on Earth was I thinking? Also, what’s this column about a again?
Oh yes. Ja Morant and cocaine and Shawn Hunter.
The following is a video of Morant without any cocaine involved:
Do not do cocaine when watching Ja Morant play basketball. In fact, don’t do cocaine at all. You never know when you might see the next dunk from Morant. Your heart can only handle so much excitement.
If you’re reading this, you took my advice. You took no cocaine and survived my test. We will miss the friends we lost on our journey, as they’ve overdosed on a combination of cocaine and Morant .
Anyway, if you like fun, watch Morant without worrying about what’s next. Don’t combat the entertainment. Let it wash over you. Allow his amazing skills to create a marvelous world for you to frolic about. Please stop purposely combating the awesomeness he’s attempting to give you for free.
Angela Moore, Shawn never deserved you.
Joseph Nardone has covered college basketball for nearly a decade at various outlets. You can follow him on Twitter @JosephNardone.
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